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If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Constitution
Instead
Law
Around
Better
Country
Would
Sweat
Laws

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The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.
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The pause - that impressive silence, that eloquent silence, that geometrically progressive silence which often achieves a desired effect where no combination of words, howsoever felicitous, could accomplish it.
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The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan has eight hundred wives. This almost amounts to bigamy.
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First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.
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When a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas about cold weather are not valuable.
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When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?
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Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
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I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
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It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story.
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There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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