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We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Insanity
Saved
Law
Would
Plea
Cain

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When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
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There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
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He has been a doctor a year now and has had two patients - no, three, I think - yes, it was three I attended their funerals.
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There is not a single celebrated Southern name in any of the departments of human industry except those of war, assassination, lynching, murder, the duel, repudiation, & massacre.
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A discriminating irreverence is the creator and protector of human liberty.
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There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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History may not repeat, but it often rhymes.
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A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was gitting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn't ever going to grow dim or doubtful.
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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
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The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying that such a laugh was money in a man's pocket, because it cut down the doctor's bills like everything.
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The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out the statistics. It is the pulpit's way - the optimist's way.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
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If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.
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In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey.
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