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We have an insanity plea that would have saved Cain.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Plea
Cain
Insanity
Saved
Law
Would

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Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.
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A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.
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I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.
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To be good is noble but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.
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[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.
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The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themselves.
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Well, no doubt it's a blessed thing to have an imagination that can always make you satisfied, no matter how you are fixed.
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I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
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There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs likes a puncheon floor in summer-time because it's cool. If you notice, most folks don't go to church only when they've got to but a hog is different.
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Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor
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Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
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I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.
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Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.
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Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
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He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.
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I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them, and enter the next world as paupers. I have saved up enough to make an astonishment there.
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If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in the end more profitable, for it gains gratitude for us, and love.
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I persuaded him to throw the dirk away and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
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When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.
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