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Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
People
Laws
Interpreters
Early
Stricken
Law
Depended
Common
Interpreter
Sense
Reasonably
Take
Intellectually
Good
Interpret
Always
Washington

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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company!
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A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize.
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Of course, no man is entirely in his right mind at any time.
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College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
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The new political gospel: public office is private graft.
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The peoples furthest from civilization are the ones where equality between man and woman are furthest apart-and we consider this one of the signs of savagery.
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
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No one is willing to acknowledge a fault in himself when a more agreeable motive can be found for the estrangement of his acquaintances.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
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In my age, as in my youth, night brings me many a deep remorse. I realize that from the cradle up I have been like the rest of the race - never quite sane in the night.
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Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.
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In my nostrils still lives the breath of flowers that perished twenty years ago.
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