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More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Two
Biblical
Book
Remain
Hundred
Books
Law
Gone
Religion
Texts
Death
Penalties

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The history of our race, and each individual’s experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal.
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I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
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In forgiving, people are not being asked to forget. On the contrary, it is important to remember, so that we should not let such atrocities happen again. Forgiveness does not mean condoning what has been done. It means taking what happened seriously...drawing out the sting in the memory that threatens our entire existence.
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
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Do your duty today and repent tomorrow.
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
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Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours.
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Had double chins all the way down to his stomach.
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The secret of getting ahead is getting started. The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and starting on the first one.
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But old fools is the biggest fools there is.
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I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55.
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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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By law of periodical repetition, everything which has happened once must happen again and again -- and not capriciously, but at regular periods, and each thing in its own period, not another's and each obeying its own law.
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Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.
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We are always too busy for our children we never give them the time or interest they deserve. We lavish gifts upon them but the most precious gift, our personal association, which means so much to them, we give grudgingly.
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You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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