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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Come
Afraid
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Heaven
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More quotes by Mark Twain
Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
Mark Twain
[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading--though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it.
Mark Twain
The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, Where is the best place to go to? He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.
Mark Twain
Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
Mark Twain
I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.
Mark Twain
It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive.
Mark Twain
Medicine has made all its progress during the past fifty years. ... How many operations that are now in use were known fifty years ago?-they were not operations, they were executions.
Mark Twain
College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either.
Mark Twain
Low comedies are written for the drawing-room, the kitchen and the stable, and if you cut out the kitchen and the stable the drawing-room can't support the play by itself.
Mark Twain
A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out.
Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards.
Mark Twain
The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
Mark Twain
The solution to our water problems is more rain.
Mark Twain
Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji.
Mark Twain
the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs.
Mark Twain
There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species.
Mark Twain
Jim said that bees won't sting idiots, but I didn't believe that, because I tried them lots of times myself and they wouldn't sting me.
Mark Twain
[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.
Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.
Mark Twain
The best of us would rather be popular than right.
Mark Twain
