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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Religion
Place
Come
Afraid
Rest
Heaven
Lasts
Last

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Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
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Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
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Work is a necessary evil to be avoided.
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I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
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As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.
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[On Dutch flat poetry]: It is too smooth and blubbery it reads like butter-milk gurgling from a jug.
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Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion.
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Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
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The joy of killing! the joy of seeing killing done - these are traits of the human race at large.
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He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
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Broad, wholesome, charitable views .. can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of the earth.
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The cigar-box which the European calls a 'lift' needs but to be compared with our elevators to be appreciated. The lift stops to reflect between floors. That is all right in a hearse, but not in elevators. The American elevator acts like a man's patent purge-it works.
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If man had created man, he would be ashamed of his performance.
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I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
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Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
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I cannot help but notice that there is no problem between us that cannot be solved by your departure.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the what is next, of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here.
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from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be. (Ought to was is better, perhaps, though the most of the authorities differ as to this.
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