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I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the # telephone .

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Everlasting
Bliss
Eventually
Except
Peace
Hope
Telephone
Together
Inventor
May
Telephones

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Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself.
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When there was room on the ledge outside of the pots and boxes for a cat, the cat was there- in sunny weather- stretched at full length, asleep and blissful, with her furry belly to the sun and a paw curved over her nose.
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The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.
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And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows
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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?
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To be satisfied with what one has that is wealth.
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I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
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No child should be permitted to grow up without exercise for imagination. It enriches life for him. It makes things wonderful and beautiful.
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No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
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When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
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Do not complain about growing old. It is a privilege denied to many.
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I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
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But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.
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Many people have the reasoning facility, but no one uses it in religious matters.
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The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
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