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I hope all of us may eventually be together in everlasting peace and bliss -- except the inventor of the # telephone .

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
May
Telephones
Everlasting
Bliss
Eventually
Except
Peace
Hope
Telephone
Together
Inventor

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When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
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Twenty-four years ago I was strangely handsome in San Francisco in the rainy season I was often mistaken for fair weather.
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Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.
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Homely truth is unpalatable.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
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A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt.
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You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you
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You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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Humor is man's greatest blessing.
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I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
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Synergy - the bonus that is achieved when things work together harmoniously.
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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?
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The secret source of humor is not joy but sorrow.
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
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There is no family in America without a clock, and consequently there is no fair pretext for the usual Sunday medley of dreadful sounds that issues from our steeples.
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Kings cannot ennoble thee, thou good, great soul, for One who is higher than kings hath done that for thee but a king can confirm thy nobility to men.
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