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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Requires
Race
Human
Humans
Etiquette
Admire

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Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery.
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Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates.
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
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It's so damned humiliating.
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The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.
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I am losing enough sleep to supply a worn-out army.
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To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.
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when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity.
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What a wee little part of a person's life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself.
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Men are easily dealt with--but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know.
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Inherited ideas are a curious thing, and interesting to observe and examine.
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The most outrageous lies that can be invented will find believers if a person only tells them with all his might.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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I pity the fellow who has to create a dialect or paraphrase the dictionary to get laughs. I can't spell, but I have never stooped to spell cat with a 'k' to get at your funny bone. I love a drink, but I never encouraged drunkenness by harping on its alleged funny side.
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You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks - in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present you should have recognized them earlier.
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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If I'd seen a playwright ever write an' play at the same time, I'd have given 'em more of a chance at cards. Can I get an 'amen?'
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A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and -nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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