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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Human
Humans
Etiquette
Admire
Requires
Race
More quotes by Mark Twain
Do something everyday that you don't want to do.
Mark Twain
Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.
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If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the Constitution, it would be better all around.
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Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
Mark Twain
When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
Mark Twain
Tom said to himself that it was not such a hollow world, after all. He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it -- namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
Mark Twain
The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world is quite as good as Southern corn bread, and perhaps no bread in the world is quite as bad as the Northern imitation of it.
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Be virtuous and you will be eccentric.
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Heaven is the very last place to come to rest and don't you be afraid to bet on that!
Mark Twain
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Mark Twain
The dreamer's valuation of a thing lost - not another man's - is the only standard to measure it by, and his grief for it makes it large and great and fine, and is worthy of our reverence in all cases.
Mark Twain
I have tried getting up early, and I have tried getting up late-and the latter agrees with me best.
Mark Twain
Humor, to be comprehensible to anybody, must be built upon a foundation with which he is familiar. If he can't see the foundation the superstructure is to him merely a freak -- like the Flatiron building without any visible means of support -- something that ought to be arrested.
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Deep down in me I knowed it was a lie, and He knowed it. You can't pray a lie - I found that out.
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Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.
Mark Twain
The humorous story is American, the comic story is English, the witty story is French. The humorous story depends for its effect upon the manner of the tellingthe comic and the witty story upon the matter.
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I never made a success of a lecture delivered in a church yet. People are afraid to laugh in a church. They can't be made to do it in any possible way.
Mark Twain
The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themselves.
Mark Twain
My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
Mark Twain
