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When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
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Expels
Hold
Library
Unprotected
Age
Delight
Censoring
Lying
Anger
Censored
Doesn
Bible
Delights
Around
Mines
Censorship
Book
Mine
Irony
Youth
Unconscious
More quotes by Mark Twain
When congress is in session no American is safe.
Mark Twain
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
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It is a shameful thing to insult a child.
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The southerner talks music.
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
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Constellations have always been troublesome things to name. If you give one of them a fanciful name, it will always refuse to live up to it it will always persist in not resembling the thing it has been named for.
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I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
Mark Twain
I am admonished in many ways that time is pushing me inexorably along. I am approaching the threshold of age in 1977 I shall be 142.
Mark Twain
But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!
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The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.
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It’s not the good that die young, it’s the lucky.
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If God had meant for us to be naked, we'd have been born that way.
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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
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Shut the door not that it lets in the cold but that it lets out the coziness.
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When I am king they shall not have bread and shelter only, but also teachings out of books, for a full belly is little worth where the mind is starved.
Mark Twain
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
Mark Twain
Duties are not performed for duty's sake, but because their neglect would make the man uncomfortable. A man performs but one duty - the duty of contenting his spirit, the duty of making himself agreeable to himself.
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That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
Mark Twain