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A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Liars
Hole
Holes
Ground
Mines
Mine
Liar

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Prosperity is the surest breeder of insolence I know.
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I would rather have my ignorance than another man's knowledge, because I have so much of it.
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In the laboratory there are no fustian ranks, no brummagem aristocracies the domain of Science is a republic, and all its citizens are brothers and equals, its princes of Monaco and its stonemasons of Cromarty meeting, barren of man-made gauds and meretricious decorations, upon the one majestic level!
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I saw men whom thirty years had changed but slightly but their wives had grown old. These were good women it is very wearing to be good.
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And how moving is the eloquence of the untaught when it is the heart that is speaking!
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The best of us would rather be popular than right.
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All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.
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We recognize that there are no trivial occurrences in life if we get the right focus on them.
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest.
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The secret of getting ahead is getting started
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The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.
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If work were so pleasant, the rich would keep it for themselves.
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The only very marked difference between the average civilized man and the average savage is that the one is gilded and the other is painted.
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When people do not respect us we are sharply offended yet in his private heart no man much respects himself.
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That is a simple rule, and easy to remember. When I, a thoughtful and unblessed Presbyterian, examine the Koran, I know that beyond any question every Mohammedan is insane not in all things, but in religious matters.
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One thing at a time, is my motto - and just play that thing for all it is worth, even if it's only tto pair and a jack.
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The new political gospel: public office is private graft.
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There is no such thing as a new idea. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope.
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Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.
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