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A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Hole
Holes
Ground
Mines
Mine
Liar
Liars

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No man, deep down in the privacy of his heart, has any considerable respect for himself.
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isn't so astonishing, the number of things that I can remember, as the number of things I can remember that aren't so.
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The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.
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When I want to read something nice, I sit down and write it myself.
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But we love the Old Travelers. We love to hear them prate and drivel and lie.
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Next you'd see a raft sliding by, away off yonder, and maybe a galoot on it chopping. . . you'd see the ax flash and come down-you don't hear nothing you see the ax go up again, and by the time it's above the man's head then you hear the k'chunk!-it had took all that time to come over the water.
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Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.
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