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A mine is a hole in the ground with a liar on top.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Liars
Hole
Holes
Ground
Mines
Mine
Liar
More quotes by Mark Twain
I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.
Mark Twain
A man who keeps company with glaciers comes to feel tolerably insignificiant by and by. The Alps and the glaciers together are able to take every bit of conceit out of a man and reduce his self-importance to zero if he will only remain within the influence of their sublime presence long enough to give it a fair and reasonable chance to do its work.
Mark Twain
Do something everyday that you don't want to do.
Mark Twain
The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.
Mark Twain
Education is what remains when what is learned has been taken away.
Mark Twain
Damn the subjunctive. It brings all our writers to shame.
Mark Twain
There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
Mark Twain
Let us be grateful to Adam: he cut us out of the blessing of idleness and won for us the curse of labor.
Mark Twain
Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
Mark Twain
It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
Mark Twain
Why is it that, among men, physical courage is a trait so plenteous yet moral courage is a trait so rare?
Mark Twain
I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.
Mark Twain
...heaven for climate, and hell for society.
Mark Twain
Probably there is an imperceptible touch of something permanent that one feels instinctively to adhere to true humour, whereas wit may be the mere conversational shooting up of smartness--a bright feather, to be blown into space the second after it is launched...Wit seems to be counted a very poor relation to Humour....Humour is never artifici
Mark Twain
Out of the unconscious lips of babes and sucklings are we satirized.
Mark Twain
Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
Mark Twain
You try to tell me anything about the newspaper business! Sir, I have been through it from Alpha to Omaha, and I tell you that the less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
Mark Twain
Adam did not want the apple for the apple's sake he wanted it because it was forbidden.
Mark Twain
Man is a marvelous curiosity...he thinks he is the Creator's pet...he even believes the Creator loves him has passion for him sits up nights to admire him yes and watch over him and keep him out of trouble. He prays to him and thinks he listens. Isn't it a quaint idea.
Mark Twain
If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
Mark Twain
