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It has been said that a Scotchman has not seen the world until he has seen Edinburgh and I think that I may say that an American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi Gras in New Orleans.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
United
States
May
Mardi
Think
Gras
Thinking
Edinburgh
World
Orleans
Seen
American

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It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. Give them to others-that's my motto.
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The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
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God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
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In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination
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Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.
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I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects were—for, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realized.
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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
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In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
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You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
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I am not given to exaggeration, and when I say a thing I mean it.
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
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What a curious kind of fool a girl is. Never been licked in school. What's a licking?
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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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By and by when each nation has 20,000 battleships and 5,000,000 soldiers we shall all be safe and the wisdom of statesmanship will stand confirmed.
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life.
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Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.
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The law of work seems unfair, but nothing can change it the more enjoyment you get out of your work, the more money you will make.
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If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.
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Sum all the gifts that man is endowed with, and we give our greatest share of admiration to his energy. And today, if I were a heathen, I would rear a statue to Energy and fall down and worship it!
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When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
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