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Go and surprise the whole country by doing something right.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Surprise
Whole
Country
Right
Something

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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be
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The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting
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Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
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To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement.
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Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.
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How lovely is death and how niggardly it is doled out.
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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.
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Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.
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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse.
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Congress: America's only true criminal class.
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There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore.
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
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Man can seldom - very, very, seldom - fight a winning fight against his training the odds are too heavy.
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It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it is for any other foreigner to read the terrible German script.
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I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
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It is not what a man knows, but what he thinks of in time.
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