Quote

I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get the same money for cop.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Price
Seven
City
Cities
Metropolis
Write
Policeman
Money
Policemen
Writing
Cop
Never
Cents

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Your road is everything that a road ought to be...and yet you will not stay in it half a mile, for the reason that little, seductive, mysterious roads are always branching out from it on either hand, and as these curve sharply also and hide what is beyond, you cannot resist the temptation to desert your own chosen path and explore them.
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to correct that.
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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it.
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The modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism is loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
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Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.
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Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?
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All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
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The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
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Talking of patriotism, what humbug it is it is a word which always commemorates a robbery.
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I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
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Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.'
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