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The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Caught
Drown
Rain
Softly
Happen
Fairness
Upon
Unjust
Fall
Alike
Sweetly
Happens
Affairs
Outdoors
Thing
Falls
Lecturer
Would
Affair
Sample

More quotes by Mark Twain

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Customs do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
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More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain.
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I bring you this stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored from pirate raids in Kiao-Chow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Phillipines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and a towel, but hide the looking-glass.
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A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
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I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.
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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt
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It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.
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It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork.
Mark Twain
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Marriage -- yes, it is the supreme felicity of life. I concede it. And it is also the supreme tragedy of life. The deeper the love the surer the tragedy. And the more disconsolating when it comes.
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Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
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I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return
Mark Twain
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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
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Heaven is by favor if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one... that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain.
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.
Mark Twain
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It's not the parts of the Bible I don't know that worries me...it's the parts that I do.
Mark Twain
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Heroine: Girl in a book who is saved from drowning by a hero and marries him next week, but if it was to be over again ten years later it is likely she would rather have a life-belt and he would rather have her have it. Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
Mark Twain
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Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
Mark Twain
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when we badly want a thing, we go to hunting for good and righteous reasons for it we give it that fine name to comfort our consciences, whereas we privately know we are only hunting for plausible ones.
Mark Twain
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There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure.
Mark Twain
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One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
Mark Twain