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All emotion is involuntary when genuine.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Involuntary
Genuine
Emotion

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There is only one good sex. The female one.
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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
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I persuaded him to throw the dirk away and it was as easy as persuading a child to give up some bright fresh new way of killing itself.
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To eat is human, to digest, divine
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It is agreed, in this country, that if a man can arrange his religion so that it perfectly satisfies his conscience, it is not incumbent on him to care whether the arrangement is satisfactory to anyone else or not.
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To do something, say something, see something, before anybody else -- these are things that confer a pleasure compared with which other pleasures are tame and commonplace, other ecstasies cheap and trivial.
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What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
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Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
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Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
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The machine has several virtues... One may lean back in his chair and work it. It piles an awful stack of words on one page. It don't muss things or scatter ink blots around.
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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Whiskey is for drinking water is for fighting over.
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Like most people, I often feel mean, and act accordingly.
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I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.
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Optimist: day-dreamer in his small clothes.
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As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.
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Slang in a woman's mouth is not obscene, it only sounds so.
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