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The lightning there is peculiar it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Doesn
Strikes
Wells
Valuable
Well
Congress
Enough
Behinds
Thing
Behind
Congressman
Something
Leave
Convincing
Think
Whether
Lightning
Thinking
Tell
Peculiar

More quotes by Mark Twain

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I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the tent. I had my twenty-dollar gold piece and some other money, but I reckoned I better save it.... I ain't opposed to spending money on circuses, when there ain't no other way, but there ain't no use in wasting it on them.
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There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
Mark Twain
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Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.
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Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
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Prediction is difficult- particularly when it involves the future.
Mark Twain
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A man can be a Christian or a patriot, but he can't legally be a Christian and a patriot - except in the usual way: one of the two with the mouth, the other with the heart.
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Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
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If all men were rich, all men would be poor.
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It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
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Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
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It is easier to stay out than get out.
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When grown-up persons indulge in practical jokes, the fact gauges them. They have lived narrow, obscure, and ignorant lives, and at full manhood they still retain and cherish a job lot of left-over standards and ideals that would have been discarded with their boyhood if they had then moved out into the world and a broader life.
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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
Mark Twain
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There is only one expert who is qualified to examine the souls and the life of a people and make a valuable report - the native novelist. ... And when a thousand able novels have been written, there you have the soul of the people and not anywhere else can these be had.
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.
Mark Twain
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There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
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Astonishing things can be done with the human memory if you will devote it faithfully to one particular line of business.
Mark Twain
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Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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It may be called the Master Passion, the hunger for self-approval.
Mark Twain