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The smallest minds and the selfishest souls and the cowardliest hearts that God makes.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Minds
Makes
Soul
Heart
Mind
Smallest
Souls
Congress
Hearts

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I felt so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful and I heard an owl, away off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a dog crying about somebody that was going to die.
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Humor is like a frog if you dissect it, it dies.
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A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
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A good and wholesome thing is a little harmless fun in this world it tones a body up and keeps him human and prevents him from souring.
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The very marks on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy.
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Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those.
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I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
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Conscience, man's moral medicine chest.
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four.
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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
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There has never been a Protestant boy nor a Protestant girl whose mind the Bible has not soiled.
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To eat is human, to digest, divine
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One can enjoy a rainbow without necessarily forgetting the forces that made it.
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I don't want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
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I am only human, although I regret it.
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