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If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Failing
Tails
Paper
Fails
Rest
Shirt
Show
Seldom
Telegram
Shows
Shirts
Telegrams
Notice
Beneficiaries
Members
Tail
Civilization
Wash

More quotes by Mark Twain

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A jay hasnt got any more principle than a Congressman. A jay will lie, a jay will steal, a jay will deceive, a jay will betray and four times out of five, a jay will go back on his solemnest promise.
Mark Twain
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The proverb says, Born lucky, always lucky, and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.
Mark Twain
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There is no character, howsoever good and fine, but it can be destroyed by ridicule, howsoever poor and witless.
Mark Twain
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
Mark Twain
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He had the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces.
Mark Twain
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I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
Mark Twain
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There ought to be a room in every house to swear in. It's dangerous to have to repress an emotion like that.
Mark Twain
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Nature knows no indecencies man invents them.
Mark Twain
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Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
Mark Twain
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When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface
Mark Twain
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It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
Mark Twain
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His head was an hour-glass it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once.
Mark Twain
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Do something everyday that you don't want to do.
Mark Twain
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They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't got any right to his property.
Mark Twain
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Sometimes people do get hurt
Mark Twain
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Next to possessing genius one's self is the power of appreciating it in others.
Mark Twain
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You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths (orthodoxy) to destroy it.
Mark Twain
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It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death.
Mark Twain
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Man seems to be a rickety poor sort of thing, any way you take him a kind of British Museum of infirmities and inferiorities. He is always undergoing repairs. A machine that was as unreliable as he is would have no market.
Mark Twain
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In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
Mark Twain