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If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members & beneficiaries of our Civilization as promenading with his shirt-tail up & the rest of his regalia in the wash.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Failing
Tails
Paper
Fails
Rest
Shirt
Show
Seldom
Telegram
Shows
Shirts
Telegrams
Notice
Beneficiaries
Members
Tail
Civilization
Wash

More quotes by Mark Twain

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If you want love and abundance in your life, give it away.
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We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.
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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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When one has tasted watermelon he knows what the angels eat.
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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Good exercise for the heart: reach out and help your neighbor
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It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. Give them to others-that's my motto.
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All gentle cant and philosophizing to the contrary notwithstanding, no people in this world ever did achieve their freedom by goody-goody talk and moral suasion: it being immutable law that all revolutions that will succeed, must begin in blood.
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I prefer milk because I am a Prohibitionist, but I do not go to it for inspiration.
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There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
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Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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It isn't safe to sit in judgment upon another person's illusion when you are not on the inside. While you are thinking it is a dream, he may be knowing it is a planet.
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We need not worry so much about what man descends from it's what he descends to that shames the human race.
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Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.
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Be good and you'll be lonesome
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
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Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to resort to violence.
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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It is a pity we can't escape from life when we are young.
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Ignorance is not not knowin' - Ignorance is knowin' what ain't so.
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