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My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Poor
Cruelties
Idea
Meanness
Ideas
Hypocrisy
Thing
Arrogance
Cruelty
Vanity
Hypocrisies
Civilization
Shoddy
Full
Vanities

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There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
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I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
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They say that you can't live by bread alone, but I can live on compliments.
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There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
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In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel.
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I was standing in our dining-room thinking of nothing in particular, when a cablegram was put into my hand. It said, 'Susy was peacefully released today.' It is one of the mysteries of our nature that a man, all unprepared, can receive a thunder-stroke like that and live.
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It is a mistake that there is no bath that will cure people's manners, but drowning would help.
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Braveness is resistance to concern, mastery of panic - not absense of anxiety.
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It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.
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My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
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Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.
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The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
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Hero: Person in a book who does things which he can't and girl marries him for it.
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Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.
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Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free.
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I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
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One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.
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Distance lends enchantment to the view.
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I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck.
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