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There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Adopt
Lift
Lifts
Salvation
Civilization
Level
Levels

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Make your mark in New York and you are a made man.
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Education: that which reveals to the wise, and conceals from the stupid, the vast limits of their knowledge.
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The more you join with people in their joys and their sorrows, the more nearer and dearer they come to be to you.
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If one is honest there is no need to remember.
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Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
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I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert--a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race.
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The proverb says, Born lucky, always lucky, and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise.
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July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so
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India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
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I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.
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Once you've put one of his [Henry James] books down, you simply can't pick it up again.
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Do right and you will be conspicuous.
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.
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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
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The frankest and freest product of the human mind and heart is a love letter the writer gets his limitless freedom of statement and expression from his sense that no stranger is going to see what he is writing.
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Experience of life (not of books) is the only capital usable in such a book as you have attempted one can make no judicious use of this capital while it is new.
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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
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