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The nation is divided, half patriots and half traitors, and no man can tell which from which.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Nations
Half
Tell
Traitors
Men
Patriots
Traitor
Patriot
Divided
Nation

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Your actions speak so much louder than words.
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A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.
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The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him.
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Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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We all live in the protection of certain cowardices which we call our principles.
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The altar cloth of one aeon is the doormat of the next.
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Each nation knowing it has the only true religion and the only sane system of government, each despising all the others, each an ass and not suspecting it.
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Sufficient unto the day is one baby. As long as you are in your right mind don't you ever pray for twins. Twins amount to a permanent riot and there ain't any real difference between triplets and a insurrection. - The Babies speech 1879
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We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
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Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
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I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
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All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen.
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There is nothing more awe-inspiring than a miracle except the credulity that can take it at par.
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it.
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