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I have traveled more than anyone else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Else
Accents
Even
Traveled
Noticed
Angels
English
Angel
Anyone
Speak
Accent

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When I was fourteen years old, I was amazed at how unintelligent my father was. By the time I turned twenty-one, I was astounded how much he had learned in the last seven years.
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Humor is mankind's greatest blessing.
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India is, the cradle of the human race, the birthplace of human speech, the mother of history, the grandmother of legend, and the great grand mother of tradition. our most valuable and most instructive materials in the history of man are treasured up in India only.
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
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I have never examined the subject of humor until now. I am surprised to find how much ground it covers. I have got its divisions and frontiers down on a piece of paper. I find it defined as a production of the brain, as the power of the brain to produce something humorous, and the capacity of percieving humor.
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Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong, which course is patriotic and which isn't. You cannot shirk this and be a man. To decide against your conviction is to be an unqualified and excusable traitor, both to yourself and to your country, let men label you as they may.
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Experience comes from bad judgment.
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I've never let my school interfere with my education.
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Let your secret sympathies and your compassion be always with the under dog in the fight -- this is magnanimity but bet on the other one -- this is business.
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The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.
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It is a good thing to write for the amusement of the public, but it is a far higher and nobler thing to write for their instruction, their profit, their actual and tangible benefit.
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Seasickness: at first you are so sick you are afraid you will die, and then you are so sick you are afraid you won't die.
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The political and commercial morals of the United States are not merely food for laughter, they are an entire banquet.
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It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities Truth isn't.
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
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A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
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You can never find a Christian who has acquired this valuable knowledge, this saving knowledge, by any process but the everlasting and all-sufficient 'people say.'
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He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
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