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I have traveled more than anyone else, and I have noticed that even the angels speak English with an accent.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Even
Traveled
Noticed
Angels
English
Angel
Anyone
Speak
Accent
Else
Accents

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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.
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I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.
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It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.
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Therein lies the defect of revenge: it's all in the anticipation the thing itself is a pain, not a pleasure at least the pain is the biggest end of it.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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He was endowed with a stupidity which by the least little stretch would go around the globe four times and tie.
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I have criticized absent people so often, and then discovered, to my humiliation, that I was talking with their relatives, that I have grown superstitious about that sort of thing and dropped it.
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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.
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A wise man does not waste so good a commodity as lying for naught.
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A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
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My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
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Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity - these are strictly confined to man he invented them. Among the higher animals there is no trace of them. They hide nothing. They are not ashamed.
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Among other common lies, we have the silent lie - the deception which one conveys by simply keeping still and concealing the truth. Many obstinate truth-mongers indulge in this dissipation, imagining that if they speak no lie, they lie not at all.
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