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Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Trying
Like
Cork
Underwater
Teaching
Hold

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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.
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Remember this, take this to heart, live by it, die for it if necessary: that our patriotism is medieval, outworn, obsolete that the modern patriotism, the true patriotism, the only rational patriotism, is loyalty to the Nation ALL the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it.
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I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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When a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas about cold weather are not valuable.
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Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
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Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get.
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A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining.
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... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
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There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth.
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There are things which some people never attempt during their whole lives, but one of these is not poetry. Poetry attacks all human beings sooner or later, and, like the measles, is mild or violent according to the age of the sufferer.
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There are 869 different forms of lying, but only one of them has been squarely forbidden. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
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Don't wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
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God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
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The art of prophecy is very difficult, especially with respect to the future.
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Congress: America's only true criminal class.
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Creed and opinion change with time, and their symbols perish but Literature and its temples are sacred to all creeds and inviolate.
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Your friends may love you in private but your enemies will hate you in public.
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