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Teaching is like trying to hold 35 corks underwater at once.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Teaching
Hold
Trying
Like
Cork
Underwater

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Which is him? The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best.
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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. BY ORDER OF THE AUTHOR per G.G., CHIEF OF ORDNANCE
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To gnaw on is human, towards digest, divine.
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Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined.
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I would not read the proof of one of my books for any fair & reasonable sum whatever, if I could get out of it. The proof-reading on the P & Pauper cost me the last rags of my religion.
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An author values a compliment even when it comes from a source of doubtful competency.
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I have been cautioned to talk but be careful not to say anything. I do not consider this a difficult task.
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We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking.
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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice, it is merely custom.
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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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Some people bring joy wherever they go, and some people bring joy whenever they go.
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I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
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Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.
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There has been only one Christian. They caught and curcified him-early.
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.
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Man is a Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion - several of them.
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I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself.
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At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
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He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
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