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I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Return
Dies
Upon
Born
Halley
Comet
Comets
Astrology
Expect

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It's my opinion that every one I know has morals, though I wouldn't like to ask. I know I have. But I'd rather teach them than practice them any day. Give them to others-that's my motto.
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The less a man knows the bigger the noise he makes and the higher the salary he commands.
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Anyone who can only think of one way to spell a word obviously lacks imagination.
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The exquisitely bad is as satisfying to the soul as the exquisitely good. Only the mediocre is unendurable.
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You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first.
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Human beings seem to be a poor invention. If they are the noblest works of God where is the ignoblest?
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Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs?
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He wa'n't no common dog, he wa'n't no mongrel he was a composite. A composite dog is a dog that is made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed-kind of a syndicate and a mongrel is made up of all riffraff that's left over.
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A railroad is like a lie you have to keep building it to make it stand.
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The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.
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Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies.
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All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.
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But I reckon I got to light out for the Territory ahead of therest, because Aunt Sally she's going to adopt me and sivilize me, and I can't stand it. I been there before.
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Politicians, old buildings, and prostitutes become respectable with age.
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He was a solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.
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It will take mind and memory months and possibly years to gather together the details, and thus learn and know the whole extent of the loss.
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We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.
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They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't got any right to his property.
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