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You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Writing
Much
Ceases
Thunder
Lightning
Cease
Bed
Reader

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I have thought many times since that if poets when they get discouraged would blow their brains out, they could write very much better when they got well.
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There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones it can lift men to angelship.
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When a man arrives at great prosperity God did it: when he falls into disaster he did it himself.
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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
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There was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.
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It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.
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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary.
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The only certainties in life are death and taxes.
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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
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I found out that I was a Christian for revenue only and I could not bear the thought of that, it was so ignoble.
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God's great cosmic joke on the human race was requiring that men and women live together in marriage
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To eat is human, to digest, divine
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I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
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We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.
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Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.
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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
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First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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An ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words it feels like music.
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Ours is the land of the free-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.)
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