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You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Thunder
Lightning
Cease
Bed
Reader
Writing
Much
Ceases

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The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themselves.
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A man may have no bad habits and have worse
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Congress: America's only true criminal class.
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Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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Does the human being reason? No he thinks, muses, reflects, but does not reason...that is, in the two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind, politics and religion. He doesn't want to know the other side. He wants arguments and statistics for his own side, and nothing more.
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I've dealt with many crises in my life, but few will ever happen.
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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.
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Italy is the home of art and swindling home of religion and moral rottenness
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I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
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Never tell a lie-except for practice.
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Guides cannot master the subtleties of the American joke.
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You perceive I generalize with intrepidity from single instances. It is the tourist's custom.
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France has neither winter, nor summer, nor morals. France is miserable because it is filled with Frenchmen, and Frenchmen are miserable because they live in France.
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Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
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Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would answer.
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None of us can be as great as God, but any of us can be as good.
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From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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Any emotion, if it is sincere, is involuntary.
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