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Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the results

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Labor
Afire
Paper
Ink
Inside
Wasted
Results
Pens
Feelings
Settings
Keep
Print
Take
Hot
Sometimes
Setting

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Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse.
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever.
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A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.
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Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it.
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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.
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It is higher and nobler to be kind.
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That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
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Such is luck! And such the treatment which honest, good perservance gets so often at the hands of unfair and malicious Nature!
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
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I could forgive the boy, now, if he'd committed a million sins!
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The first half of my life I went to school, the second half of my life I got an education.
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I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
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Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly.
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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
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When majority is insane, sane must go to asylum.
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A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
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The election makes me think of a story of a man who was dying. He had only two minutes to live, so he sent for a clergyman and asked him, Where is the best place to go to? He was undecided about it. So the minister told him that each place had its advantages--heaven for climate, and hell for society.
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Humor is man's greatest blessing.
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... No photograph ever was good, yet, of anybody - hunger and thirst and utter wretchedness overtake the outlaw who invented it! It transforms into desperadoes the weakest of men depicts sinless innocence upon the pictured faces of ruffians gives the wise man the stupid leer of a fool, and the fool an expression of more than earthly wisdom.
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