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If I had more time, I would have written less.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Would
Time
Written
Less

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Annihilation has no terrors for me, because I have already tried it before I was born --a hundred million years --and I have suffered more in an hour, in this life, than I remember to have suffered in the whole hundred million years put together.
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The average man don't like trouble and danger.
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
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No real estate is permanently valuable but the grave.
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When congress is in session no American is safe.
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There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought -a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
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A dozen direct censures are easier to bear than one morganatic compliment.
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If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
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To place man properly at the present time, he stands somewhere between the angels and the French.
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The first time a student realizes that a little learning is a dangerous thing is when he brings home a poor report card.
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Whose property is my body? Probably mine. I so regard it. If I experiment with it, who must be answerable? I, not the State. If I choose injudiciously, does the state die? Oh, no.
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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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Some civilized women would lose half their charm without dress and some would lose all of it.
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There is not a single celebrated Southern name in any of the departments of human industry except those of war, assassination, lynching, murder, the duel, repudiation, & massacre.
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There's a good spot tucked away somewhere in everybody. You'll be a long time finding it, sometimes.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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Prophesy is a good line of business, but it is full of risks.
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Cherimoya, the most delicious fruit known to men.
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To get the full value of joy You must have someone to divide it with. After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside it without her.
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Of the 417 commandments, only a single one of the 417 has found ministerial obedience multiply and replenish the earth. To it sinner & saint, scholar & ignoramus, Christian & savage are alike loyal.
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