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When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Happens
Ends
Everything
Years
World
Kentucky
Anywhere
Comes
Else
More quotes by Mark Twain
The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.
Mark Twain
Temperate temperance is best intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance.
Mark Twain
There are no wild animals until man makes them so.
Mark Twain
Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent.
Mark Twain
Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
Mark Twain
Nothing incites to money-crimes like great poverty or great wealth.
Mark Twain
Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.
Mark Twain
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging.
Mark Twain
Every man is in his own person the whole human race without a detail lacking....I knew I should not find in any philosophy a single thought which had not passed through my own head, nor a single thought which had not passed through the heads of millions and millions of men before I was born.
Mark Twain
I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.
Mark Twain
Golden rule: Made of hard metal so it could stand severe wear, it not being known at that time that butter would answer.
Mark Twain
The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
Mark Twain
I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.
Mark Twain
A newspaper is not just for reporting the news as it is, but to make people mad enough to do something about it.
Mark Twain
Sometimes people do get hurt
Mark Twain
The fear of lightning is one of the most distressing infirmities a human being can be afflicted with. It is mostly confined to women, but now and then you find it in a little dog, and sometimes a man.
Mark Twain
A person who has a cat by the tail knows a whole lot more about cats than someone who has just read about them.
Mark Twain
There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
Mark Twain
When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?
Mark Twain
I will remark in the way of general information, that in California, that land of felicitous nomenclature, the literary name of this sort of stuff is hogwash
Mark Twain
