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Never miss an opportunity to shut up.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Shut
Miss
Communication
Missing
Opportunity
Never

More quotes by Mark Twain

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From his cradle to his grave a man never does a single thing which has any FIRST AND FOREMOST object but one -- to secure peace of mind, spiritual comfort, for HIMSELF.
Mark Twain
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I was warned to stop smoking, which I did, for two or three days, but it was too lonesome, and I have resumed - in a modified way - 4 smokes a day instead of 40. This will have a good effect. On the bank balance.
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When whole races and peoples conspire to propagate gigantic mute lies in the interest of tyrannies and shams, why should we care anything about the trifling lies told by individuals?
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My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got.
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It is easier to stay out than get out.
Mark Twain
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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty.
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The highest pleasure to be got out of freedom, and having nothing to do, is labor.
Mark Twain
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One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.
Mark Twain
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
Mark Twain
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... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often picturesque liar.
Mark Twain
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We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that.
Mark Twain
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One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.
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No man that has ever lived has done a thing to please God--primarily. It was done to please himself, then God next.
Mark Twain
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Do not undervalue the headache. While it is at its sharpest it seems a bad investment but when relief begins, the unexpired remainder is worth $4 a minute.
Mark Twain
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There are people who can do all fine and heroic things but one - keep from telling their happiness to the unhappy.
Mark Twain
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No amount of evidence will ever persuade an idiot
Mark Twain
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When a man stands on the verge of seventy-two you know perfectly well that he never reached that place without knowing what this life is - heartbreaking bereavement.
Mark Twain
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Imagination labors best in distant fields.
Mark Twain
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers India is the only millionaire.
Mark Twain
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The best of us would rather be popular than right.
Mark Twain