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Never miss an opportunity to shut up.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Missing
Opportunity
Never
Shut
Miss
Communication

More quotes by Mark Twain

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The lie, as a virtue, a principle, is eternal the lie, as a recreation, a solace, a refuge in time of need, the fourth Grace, the tenth Muse, man's best and surest friend is immortal
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Tom appeared on the sidewalk with a bucket of whitewash and a long-handled brush. He surveyed the fence, and all gladness left him and a deep melancholy settled down upon his spirit. Thirty yards of board fence nine feet high. Life to him seemed hollow, and existence but a burden.
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The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
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Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
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The human race is a race of cowards and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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We Americans... bear the ark of liberties of the world.
Mark Twain
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The trouble with most of us is that we know too much that ain't so.
Mark Twain
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
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It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
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Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.
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Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.
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So far as I am able to judge, nothing has been left undone, either by man or nature, to make India the most extraordinary country that the sun visits on his rounds. Nothing seems to have been forgotten, nothing overlooked.
Mark Twain
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I can understand German as well as the maniac that invented it, but I talk it best through an interpreter.
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In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing the local papers said nothing against it the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind.
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They did not know it was impossible so they did it
Mark Twain
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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
Mark Twain
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
Mark Twain
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How slow and still the time did drag along.
Mark Twain
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One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect.
Mark Twain
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I have spent most of my life worrying about things that have never happened.
Mark Twain