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Never miss an opportunity to shut up.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Shut
Miss
Communication
Missing
Opportunity
Never
More quotes by Mark Twain
The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad.
Mark Twain
As a rule, we go about with masks, we go about looking honest, and we are able to conceal ourselves all through the day.
Mark Twain
Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave.
Mark Twain
It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old.
Mark Twain
Do you reckon Tom Sawyer was satisfied after all them adventures?
Mark Twain
You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong to no church, perhapsbut otherwise he is just as much a human as you be. And I'll tell you for why. A jay's gifts and instincts, and feelings, and interests, cover the whole ground. A jay hasn't got any more principle than a Congressman.
Mark Twain
I do not like an injurious lie, except when it injures somebody else.
Mark Twain
The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
Mark Twain
History may not repeat, but it often rhymes.
Mark Twain
You cannot have all chiefs you gotta have Indians too. Perfect love cannot be without equality. A friend to everybody and to nobody is the same thing. We are all alike, on the inside.
Mark Twain
No God and no religion can survive ridicule. No political church, no nobility, no royalty or other fraud, can face ridicule in a fair field, and live.
Mark Twain
Be good and you'll be lonesome
Mark Twain
What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.
Mark Twain
When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
Mark Twain
My advice to girls: first, don't smoke - to excess second, don't drink - to excess third, don't marry - to excess.
Mark Twain
To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.
Mark Twain
Etiquette requires us to admire the human race.
Mark Twain
If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I have noticed that when a man is right down cheerful, he is seldom unhappy for the time being. Such is the nature of man.
Mark Twain
The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
Mark Twain
Conscience, man's moral medicine chest.
Mark Twain
