Quote

Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Good
Luck
World
Especially
Dead
Alive
Epitaphs
Poor
Chap
Wish
Chaps
Used
Epitaph
Hard
Cheap

More quotes by Mark Twain

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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label.
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The Mississippi River will always have its own way no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise.
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The introduction of homeopathy forced the old school doctor to stir around and learn something of a rational nature about his business. You may honestly feel grateful that homeopathy survived the attempts of the allopaths to destroy it.
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Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
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The insincerity of man-all men are liars, partial or hiders of facts, half tellers of truths, shirks, moral sneaks. When a merely honest man appears he is a comet-his fame is eternal-needs no genius, no talent-mere honesty
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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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We had an abundance of mangoes, papaias and bananas here, but the pride of the islands, the most delicious fruit known to men, cherimoya, was not in season. It has a soft pulp, like a pawpaw, and is eaten with a spoon.
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There is this trouble about special providences namely, there is so often a doubt as to which party was intended to be the beneficiary. In the case of the children, the bears, and the prophet, the bears got more real satisfaction out of the episode than the prophet did, because they got the children.
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After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me.
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We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if we had stopped with the first thing we ever invented, which was human liberty.
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There are laws to protect the freedom of the press's speech, but none that are worth anything to protect the people from the press
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As a rule we develop a borrowed European idea forward, and ... Europe develops a borrowed American idea backwards.
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
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The reason most people don't go to church is because they've already been.
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True irreverence is disrespect for another man's god.
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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None but an ass pays a compliment and asks a favour at the same time. There are many asses.
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.
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But in this country we have one great privilege which they don't have in other countries. When a thing gets to be absolutely unbearable the people can rise up and throw it off. That's the finest asset we've got - the ballot box.
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