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My father was a Saint Bernard, my mother was a Collie, but I am a Presbyterian.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Father
Mother
Collies
Presbyterian
Presbyterians
Bernard
Saint
Dog
More quotes by Mark Twain
Few of us stand prosperity another man's I mean.
Mark Twain
What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow nothing can prevent it.
Mark Twain
Eight grown Americans out of ten dread the coming of the Fourth, with its pandemonium and its perils, and they rejoice when it is gone-if still alive.
Mark Twain
A monarch, when good, is entitled to the consideration which we accord to a pirate who keeps Sunday School between crimes when bad, he is entitled to none at all.
Mark Twain
I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
Mark Twain
Never knew before what eternity was made for. It is to give some of us a chance to learn German.
Mark Twain
You may say organize, organize, organize but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.
Mark Twain
When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots.
Mark Twain
Is the human race a joke? Was it devised and patched together in a dull time when there was nothing important to do?
Mark Twain
There are those who would misteach us that to stick in a rut is consistency - and a virtue, and that to climb out of the rut is inconsistency - and a vice.
Mark Twain
Those people.... early stricken of God, intellectually - the departmental interpreters of the laws in Washington... can always be depended on to take any reasonably good law and interpret the common sense all out of it.
Mark Twain
We like to read about rich people in the newspapers the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed.
Mark Twain
Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard luck while he was alive. I wish they were used more.
Mark Twain
Life is short. Forgive quickly, kiss slowly and love truly.
Mark Twain
Don't go to sleep, so many people die there.
Mark Twain
Those who do not read the news are uninformed. Those who do are misinformed.
Mark Twain
When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time, I tell you, Time takes the confidence out of these incautious opinions. It is more than likely that He thinks about the world, now, pretty much as I think about the Innocents Abroad. The fact is, there is a trifle too much water in both.
Mark Twain
There was a great difference in boats, of course. For a long time I was on a boat that was so slow we used to forget what year it was we left port in.
Mark Twain
I speak French with timidity, and not flowingly--except when excited. When using that language I have often noticed that I have hardly ever been mistaken for a Frenchman, except, perhaps, by horses never, I believe, by people.
Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
Mark Twain
