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It takes me a long time to lose my temper, but once lost I could not find it with a dog.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Takes
Lost
Find
Long
Temper
Time
Dog
Lose
Loses

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He gossips habitually he lacks the common wisdom to keep still that deadly enemy of man, his own tongue.
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In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch.
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The ignorant are afraid to betray surprise or admiration...they think it ill manners.
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To refuse awards is another way of accepting them with more noise than is normal.
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I am content to be a bric-a-bracker and a Ceramiker.
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
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It was a place of sin, loose women, whiskey and gambling. It was no place for a good Presbyterian, and I did not long remain one.
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I've seen many troubles in my time, only half of which ever came true.
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Experience comes from bad judgment.
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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
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Peace by persuasion has a pleasant sound, but I think we should not be able to work it. We should have to tame the human race first, and history seems to show that that cannot be done.
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What God lacks is convictions- stability of character. He ought to be a Presbyterian or a Catholic or something- not try to be everything.
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The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
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The sole impulse which dictates and compels a man's every act: the imperious necessity of securing his own approval, in every emergency and at all costs.... It is our only spur, our whip, our goad, our impelling power we have no other.
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Do one thing every day you don't want to do.
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I know all those people. I have friendly, social, and criminal relations with the whole lot of them.
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It may have happened, it may not have happened but it could have happened.
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A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
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The dog is a gentleman I hope to go to his heaven not man's.
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