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The old Irish when immersing a babe at baptism left out the right arm so that it would remain pagan for good fighting

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Arms
Boys
Immersing
Fighting
Pagan
Baptism
Left
Babe
Right
Irish
Good
Remain
Would
Baby

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[The Bible is] a mass of fables and traditions, mere mythology.
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When an audience does not complain, it is a compliment, and when it does, it is a compliment, too, if unaccompanied by violence.
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Often a quite assified remark becomes sanctified by use and petrified by custom it is then a permanency, its term of activity a geologic period.
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In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
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But soft you, the fair Ophelia: Ope not thy ponderous and marble jaws, But get thee to a nunnery - go!
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We called him Barney for short. We couldn't use his real name, there wasn't time.
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Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
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When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else.
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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail.
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A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to you than the ninety-and -nine which you had to work for, and money won at faro or in stock snuggles into your heart in the same way.
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Your actions speak so much louder than words.
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The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another.
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The heart is the real fountain of youth.
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A half-truth is the most cowardly of lies.
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The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.
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Do good when you can, and charge when you think they will stand it.
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God could create the world in six days because he didn't have to make it compatible with the previous version. Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company
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