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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Committee
Whiskey
Committees
Carried
Congress
Rooms
Demagogues
More quotes by Mark Twain
Distance lends enchantment to the view.
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There isn't anything you can't stand if you are only born and bred to it.
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But it was ever thus, all through my life: whenever I have diverged from custom and principle and uttered a truth, the rule has been that the hearer hadn't strength of mind enough to believe it.
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I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because the opportunity to make promising efforts in that direction has offered itself to us with a frequency out of all proportion to the European experience.
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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Mark Twain
One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques.
Mark Twain
It makes one hope and believe that a day will come when, in the eye of the law, literary property will be as sacred as whiskey, or any other of the necessaries of life. It grieves me to think how far more profound and reverent a respect the law would have for literature if a body could only get drunk on it.
Mark Twain
Everybody lies...every day, every hour, awake, asleep, in his dreams, in his joy, in his mourning. If he keeps his tongue still his hands, his feet, his eyes, his attitude will convey deception.
Mark Twain
Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.
Mark Twain
Optimist: Person who travels on nothing from nowhere to happiness.
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The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the what is next, of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here.
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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.
Mark Twain
Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.
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There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares!
Mark Twain
But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
Mark Twain
I've come loaded with statistics, for I've noticed that a man can't prove anything without statistics. No man can.
Mark Twain
Public Servant: Persons chosen by the people to distribute the graft.
Mark Twain
Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.
Mark Twain
Every man has a secret ambition: To outsmart horses, fish and women.
Mark Twain
