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How far we travel in life matters far less than those we meet along the way.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Less
Matter
Way
Life
Matters
Travel
Meet
Along

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Conductor, when you receive a fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare. A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare, A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare, A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare, Punch in the presence of the passenjare! Punch, brothers! punch with care! Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
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The Book of Mormon is chloroform in print
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Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision about the amount you need to eat. Perhaps a couple of whales would be enough.
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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens?
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I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
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Whiskey is carried into committee rooms in demijohns and carried out in demagogues.
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Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?
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The community is eminently Portuguese - that is to say, it is slow, poor, shiftless, sleepy, and lazy.
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Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things left out. They burn in me and they keep multiplying but now they can't ever be said. And besides, they would require a library-and a pen warmed up in hell.
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I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I so often feel that they have not gone far enough.
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Those who do not read have no advantage over those who cannot read.
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
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Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn
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One mustn't criticize other people on grounds where he can't stand perpendicular himself
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Old habits cannot be thrown out the upstairs window. They have to be coaxed downstairs one step at a time.
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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time.
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What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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It is better to take what does not belong to you than to let it lie around neglected.
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Your road is everything that a road ought to be...and yet you will not stay in it half a mile, for the reason that little, seductive, mysterious roads are always branching out from it on either hand, and as these curve sharply also and hide what is beyond, you cannot resist the temptation to desert your own chosen path and explore them.
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A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
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