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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Name
Names
Common
Seems
Pronounced
Always
Welsh
Jackson
Seem
Inspiration

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Such is professional jealousy a scientist will never show any kindness for a theory which he did not start himself.
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That's just the way: a person does a low-down thing, and then he don't want to take no consequences of it. Thinks as long as he can hide it, it ain't no disgrace.
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Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Most writers regard the truth as their most valuable possession, and therefore are economical in its use.
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Which is him? The grammar was faulty, maybe, but we could not know, then, that it would go in a book someday.
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As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
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The xmas holidays have this high value: that they remind Forgetters of the Forgotten, & repair damaged relationships.
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But it warn't no time to be sentimentering.
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I never write metropolis for seven cents when I can write city and get paid the same.
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In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing the local papers said nothing against it the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind.
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The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
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Sagebrush is a very fair fuel, but as a vegetable it is a distinguished failure. Nothing can abide the taste of it but the jackass and his illegitimate child the mule.
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I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time.
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In all the ages, three-fourths of the support of the great charities has been conscience money.
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I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one.
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Do right and you will be conspicuous.
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I had longed to be a butterfly, and I was one at last. I attended private parties in sumptuous evening dress, simpered and aired my graces like a born beau, and polkaed and schoisched with a step peculiar to myself - and the kangaroo.
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Damn these human beings if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag.
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This is the year 1492. I am eighty-two years of age. The things I am going to tell you are things which I saw myself as a child and as a youth.
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Wisdom teaches us that none but birds should go out early, and that not even birds should do it unless they are out of worms.
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker.
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