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Names are not always what they seem. The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Jackson
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Always
Welsh
More quotes by Mark Twain
the size of a misfortune is not determinable by an outsider’s measurement of it but only by the measurements applied to it by the person specially affected by it.
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I don't believe there is anything in the whole earth that you can't learn in Berlin except the German language.
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The minute we get reconciled to a person, how willing we are to throw aside little needless punctilios and pronounce his name right.
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Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
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The average man don't like trouble and danger.
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The ancients stole all our ideas from us.
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Surely the ass who invented the first religion ought to be the first ass damned
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I was educated, I was trained, I was a Presbyterian and I knew how these things are done. I knew that in Biblical times if a man committed a sin the extermination of the whole surrounding nation-cattle and all-was likely to happen. I knew that Providence was not particular about the rest, so that He got somebody connected with the one He was after.
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Canadian girls are so pretty it's a relief now and then to see a plain one.
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We have infinite trouble in solving man-made mysteries it is only when we set out to discover the secret of God that our difficulties disappear.
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The convention missionaries call modesty has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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What a good thing Adam had. When he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.
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I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it inflicts upon unconsenting animals is the basis of my enmity toward it, and it is to me sufficient justification of the enmity without looking further.
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Most of the things I worried about in life never happened.
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God puts something good and loveable in every man His hands create.
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We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge
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A half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
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There's always a hole in theories somewhere if you look close enough.
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The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to institutions are extraneous. . . .
Mark Twain
