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I have always been rather better treated in San Francisco than I actually deserved.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Treated
Actually
Rather
Better
Always
Deserved
Francisco

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I was born with Halley's Comet and I expect to die upon its return
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We don't care to eat toadstools that think they are truffles.
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Broad, wholesome, charitable views .. can not be acquired by vegetating in one's little corner of the earth.
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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years.
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If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people
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Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.
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It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.
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I begin to see that a man's got to be in his own heaven to be happy.
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If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
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One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one.
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All you drunkards: Put down the intoxicating Vanity Metrics.
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The average American's simplest and commonest form of breakfast consists of coffee and beefsteak.
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A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors.
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it.
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That is a society editor, sitting there elegantly dressed, with his legs crossed in that indolent way, observing the clothes the ladies wear, so that he can describe them for his paper and make them out finer than they are and get bribes for it and become wealthy.
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I could be an idiot, or I can serve in Congress, but I repeat myself.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
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