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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Types
Nervous
Type
Two
Speakers
Liars
More quotes by Mark Twain
Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the what is next, of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here.
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A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial.
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Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.
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The time to begin writing an article is when you have finished it to your satisfaction. By that time you begin to clearly and logically perceive what it is you really want to say.
Mark Twain
Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on.
Mark Twain
Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only once to the insane.
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You can tell German wine from vinegar by the label.
Mark Twain
To write without pay until somebody offers pay. If nobody offers pay within three years, the candidate may look upon this circumstance with the most implicit confidence as the sign that sawing wood is what he was intended for.
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If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time.
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First catch your Boer, then kick him.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
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The conviction of the rich that the poor are happier is no more foolish than the conviction of the poor that the rich are.
Mark Twain
Customs do not concern themselves with right or wrong or reason. But they have to be obeyed one reasons all around them until he is tired, but he must not transgress them, it is sternly forbidden.
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Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
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I am always reading immoral books on the sly, and then selfishly trying to prevent other people from having the same wicked good time.
Mark Twain
The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable.
Mark Twain
If we learned to walk and talk the way we learn to read and write, everyone would limp and stutter.
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It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want—oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
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A home without a cat — and a well-fed, well-petted and properly revered cat — may be a perfect home, perhaps, but how can it prove title?
Mark Twain