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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Types
Nervous
Type
Two
Speakers
Liars

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In the laboratory there are no fustian ranks, no brummagem aristocracies the domain of Science is a republic, and all its citizens are brothers and equals, its princes of Monaco and its stonemasons of Cromarty meeting, barren of man-made gauds and meretricious decorations, upon the one majestic level!
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There is no security in life, only opportunity.
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You cant reach old age by another man's road, my habits protect my life but they would assassinate you
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Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.
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The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible.
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Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.
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Plain question and plain answer make the shortest road out of most perplexities.
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It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction.
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on their clothes to keep them from being stolen.
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when you recollect something which belonged in an earlier chapter, do not go back, but jam it in where you are . Discursiveness does not hurt an autobiography in the least.
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Wit and Humor - if any difference, it is in duration - lightning and electric light. Same material, apparently but one is vivid, and can do damage - the other fools along and enjoys elaboration.
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Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn
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The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity.
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Knowledge becomes wisdom only after it has been put to good use.
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I have damaged my intellect trying to imagine why a man should want to invent a repeating clock, and how another man could be found to lust after it and buy it. The man who can guess these riddles is far on the way to guess why the human race was invented - which is another riddle which tires me.
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There is nothing to be learned from the second kick of a mule.
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It is easier to stay out than get out.
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