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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Speakers
Liars
Types
Nervous
Type
Two

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Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first! Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer
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Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so.
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It is easier to stay out than get out.
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Morals consist of political morals, commercial morals, ecclesiastical morals, and morals.
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A little more kindness, A little less speed, A little more giving, A little less greed, A little more smile, A little less frown, A little less kicking, A man while he's down, A little more We, A little less I, A little more laugh, A little less cry, A little more flowers, On the pathway of life, And fewer on graves, At the end of the stri
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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it.
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What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain.
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In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing the local papers said nothing against it the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind.
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours.
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What is there that confers the noblest delight? What is that which swells a man's breast with pride above that which any other experience can bring to him? Discovery!
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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
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I said there was but one solitary thing about the past worth remembering, and that was the fact that it is past-can't be restored.
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My mind changes often ... People who have no mind can easily be steadfast and firm, but when a man is loaded down to the guards with it, as I am, every heavy sea of foreboding or inclination, maybe of indolence, shifts the cargo.
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All good things arrive unto them that wait - and don't die in the meantime.
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Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was that they escaped teething.
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If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging?
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That cat will write her autograph all over your leg if you let her.
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I like the truth sometimes, but I don't care enough for it to hanker after it.
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The idea that a baby doesn't amount to anything! Why, one baby is just a house and a front yard full by itself. One baby can, furnish more business than you and your whole Interior Department can attend to. He is enterprising, irrepressible, brimful of lawless activities.
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