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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.
Mark Twain
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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Speakers
Liars
Types
Nervous
Type
Two
More quotes by Mark Twain
If you hold a cat by the tail you learn things you cannot learn any other way.
Mark Twain
There is not an acre of ground on the globe that is in possession of its rightful owner, or that has not been taken away from owner after owner, cycle afer cycle, by force and bloodshed.
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It is easy to find fault, if one has that disposition. There was once a man who, not being able to find any other fault with his coal, complained that there were too many prehistoric toads in it.
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I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects were—for, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realized.
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It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the real, and the public and the artificial.
Mark Twain
Honest poverty is a gem that even a king might be proud to call his own - but I wish to sell out
Mark Twain
If you are with the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't sleepy - if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places.
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The human being places sexual intercourse above all other joys, but leaves it out of his heaven.
Mark Twain
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.
Mark Twain
The law is a system that protects everybody who can afford to hire a good lawyer.
Mark Twain
The lightning there is peculiar it is so convincing, that when it strikes a thing it doesn't leave enough of that thing behind for you to tell whether-Well, you'd think it was something valuable, and a Congressman had been there.
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There are those who scoff at the schoolboy, calling him frivolous and shallow: Yet it was the schoolboy who said 'Faith is believing what you know ain't so'.
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The low level which commercial morality has reached in America is deplorable. We have humble God fearing Christian men among us who will stoop to do things for a million dollars that they ought not to be willing to do for less than 2 millions.
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I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.
Mark Twain
Blasphemy? No, it is not blashphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy if he is as little as that, He is beneath it.
Mark Twain
There are two things nobody should ever have to watch being made, sausage and laws.
Mark Twain
You may say organize, organize, organize but there may be so much organization that it will interfere with the work to be done.
Mark Twain
To be a patriot, one had to say, and keep on saying, Our Country, right or wrong, and urge on the little war. Have you not perceived that that phrase is an insult to the nation?
Mark Twain
It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head.
Mark Twain
What a lumbering poor vehicle prose is for the conveying of a great thought! ... Prose wanders around with a lantern & laboriously schedules & verifies the details & particulars of a valley & its frame of crags & peaks, then Poetry comes, & lays bare the whole landscape with a single splendid flash.
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