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There are two types of speakers: those that are nervous and those that are liars.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Liars
Types
Nervous
Type
Two
Speakers

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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time.
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A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it.
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There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species.
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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain.
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As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy it was not named in his cargo list and he and the boys were not aware that there was such a creature. He said he could not blame himself for not knowing about the dinosaur, because it was an American animal and America had not then been discovered.
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We love old travelers: we love to hear them prate, drivel and lie we love them for their asinine vanity, their ability to bore, their luxuriant fertility of imagination, their startling, brilliant, overwhelming mendacity.
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I do not allow my schooling to interfere with my education
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Man is without doubt the most interesting fool there is. He concedes that God made the angels immune from pain and death, and that he could have been similarly kind to man, but denies that he was under any moral obligation to do so.
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If everyone was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes.
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It is easier to manufacture seven facts out of whole cloth than one emotion.
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One compliment can keep me going for a whole month.
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Too bad that youth is wasted on the young.
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Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
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Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of.
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