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Armor is heavy, yet it is a proud burden, and a man standeth straight in it.

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Armor
Straight
Burden
Heavy
Proud
Men

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All schools, all colleges have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal valuable knowledge.
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Life is but a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream.
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No public interest is anything other or nobler than a massed accumulation of private interests.
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In India, 'cold weather' is merely a conventional phrase and has come into use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather which will melt a brass door-knob and weather which will only make it mushy.
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There will never be a perfect time to quit smoking. A time when you don't have any distractions or stress... If you had started today one year ago, this would not even be an issue for you today! Don't waste another year!
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One may make their house a palace of sham, or they can make it a home, a refuge.
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I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
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Memories which someday will become all beautiful when the last annoyance that encumbers them shall have faded out of our minds.
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Each man is afraid of his neighbor's disapproval - a thing which, to the general run of the human race, is more dreaded than wolves and death.
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Switzerland is simply a large, lumpy, solid rock with a thin skin of grass stretched over it.
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I admire him, I frankly confess it and when his time is come I shall buy a piece of the rope for a keepsake.
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If you can't get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.
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The cat, having sat upon a hot stove lid, will not sit upon a hot stove lid again. Nor upon a cold stove lid.
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The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.
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I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: Now here are these two unaccountable freaks they came in together, they must go out together.
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It's lovely to live on a raft. We had the sky up there, all speckled with stars, and we used to lay on our backs and look up at them, and discuss about whether they was made or only just happened.
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God made the Idiot for practice, and then He made the School Board.
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All Congresses and Parliaments have a kindly feeling for idiots, and a compassion for them, on account of personal experience and heredity.
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