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When the time comes that a man has had his dinner, then the true man comes to the surface

Mark Twain

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Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Surface
Food
Comes
True
Men
Time
Dinner

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Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
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I have learned that human existence is essentially tragic. It is only the love of God, disclosed and enacted in Christ, that redeems the human tragedy and makes it tolerable. No, more than tolerable. Wonderful.
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Principles aren't of much account anyway, except at election time. After that you hang them up to let them season.
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Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes.
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We all belong to the nasty stinking little human race, & of course it is not nice for God's beloved vermin to scoff at each other... Oh, we are a nasty little lot-& to think there are people who would like to save us & continue us. It won't happen if I have any influence.
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If I had more time, I would have written less.
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If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.
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There are no wild animals until man makes them so.
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Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to.
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I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: Now here are these two unaccountable freaks they came in together, they must go out together.
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Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in.
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Age enlarges and enriches the powers of some musical instruments - notably those of the violin - but it seems to set a piano's teeth on edge.
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We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy that watches over their dignity that focuses their vision true--humor.
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What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind.
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Some people get an education without going to college. The rest get it after they get out.
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Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.
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The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.
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Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do. Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself.
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Every man is a moon and has a side which he turns toward nobody: you have to slip around behind it if you want to see it.
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