Quote

One holds a bottle of red wine by the neck, a woman by the waist, and a bottle of champagne by the derriere.

Mark Twain

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Mark Twain
Age: 74 †
Born: 1835
Born: November 30
Died: 1910
Died: April 21
Aphorist
Author
Autobiographer
Humorist
Journalist
Novelist
Opinion Journalist
Prosaist
Science Fiction Writer
Teacher
Florida
Missouri
Samuel Langhorne Clemens
Samuel L. Clemens
Samuel Clemens
Wine
Waist
Woman
Champagne
Bottle
Neck
Bottles
Necks
Holds
Red

More quotes by Mark Twain

Image
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
Mark Twain
Image
You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by.
Mark Twain
Image
I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the lower animals (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me.
Mark Twain
Image
We are all beggars, each in his own way.
Mark Twain
Image
Most people can't bear to sit in church for an hour on Sundays. How are they supposed to live somewhere very similar to it for eternity?
Mark Twain
Image
The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher.
Mark Twain
Image
The two Testaments are interesting, each in its own way. The Old one gives us a picture of these people's Deity as he was before he got religion, the other one gives us a picture of him as he appeared afterward.
Mark Twain
Image
Do something everyday that you don't want to do this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
Mark Twain
Image
In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it.
Mark Twain
Image
Always tell the truth then you don't have to remember anything
Mark Twain
Image
I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not.
Mark Twain
Image
France has usually been governed by prostitutes
Mark Twain
Image
All saints can do miracles, but few of them can keep a hotel.
Mark Twain
Image
But it warn't no time to be sentimentering.
Mark Twain
Image
There are people who think that honesty is always the best policy. This is a superstition. There are times when the appearance of it is worth six of it.
Mark Twain
Image
An American has not seen the United States until he has seen Mardi-Gras in New Orleans.
Mark Twain
Image
And so I am become a knight of the Kingdom of Dreams and Shadows
Mark Twain
Image
I was educated once - it took me years to get over it.
Mark Twain
Image
No one can tell me what is a good cigar--for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards--no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him.
Mark Twain
Image
To believe yourself brave is to be brave it is the one only essential thing.
Mark Twain